I sat in the Christmas Eve service weeping. The soloist was singing "Mary Did You Know" and all I could hear was a song written about a mother and a baby. And I wanted a baby with all my heart.
It hadn't always been so. My husband and I had spent 7 years enjoying our childfree, workaholic lifestyle. We'd seen almost every couple we had started out with in the young married Sunday school class at Sherwood Oaks get pregnant with their first, second, and in some cases, even third babies.
During that time, I began to wonder if the desire for a child of our own would ever come. I was a teacher who loved children, but the only children I seemed to want to give my life to were my students. Finally, after 7 years and sensing God's timing, my husband and I decided to take the plunge. We were going to try for a baby. We told our families and those closest to us, and prepared our hearts for the life-changing news.
But each month, our hearts were disappointed. Again. And again. Finally, after a year, we decided to seek out the help of our doctor. Surprisingly, at the appointment where we were supposed to be discussing options for infertility, we learned that I was pregnant. We were shocked and overjoyed to find out that our child would be born only 6 months later in September. Not only was I pregnant, I was 3 months pregnant!
The baby came. And he was a beautiful blonde boy. He rocked my world and my love for him was fierce.
Christmas Eve came again, and this time I was adjusting to being a new mom. As such, I'd barely taken time to get myself ready, but my baby boy looked adorable in his new Christmas sweater and red corduroys. Like all new mothers who bring babies to church, I wondered how long we'd be able to sit in the service.
As we got comfortable in our seats, and prayed for a quiet baby, the strains of my favorite Christmas hymn, O Holy Night, echoed thru throughout the sanctuary. And that is when it hit me. The Christmas story was about a family - a young mother, a (surrogate) father, and a baby. But, the story was also about a loving Heavenly Father and his Gift.
Throughout that service, I sat and wept at the beauty of God's answered prayer and perfect timing of the gift of my new baby boy. I pondered anew the words of the song and then the words of Mary during the sermon. I meditated in a new way on the gift of Jesus, God's one and only Son.
As I sat looking at my new baby boy, I wept. I now knew the beauty, the gift, the sacrifice the Father had made for me. I had a one and only son. And I couldn't imagine the love that would give that gift. My heart would never look at Christmas the same way again.